Supreme Magus

Authorʼs Note: this is just a parody of all the tropes that I experienced by reading all kind of book and novels. I do not mean to belittle them or their readers, is just a joke about the most abused tropes and cookie cutter scenes that recur very often, no matter the author.

Let me know in the comments if you liked it. I will either keep it in the auxiliary chapters or delete it, based on your response.

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That morning the classroom was already filled to the brim. Several teachers of the academy were gathered there for no reason at all. Powerful mages always had too much free time at their disposal.

Suddenly, a youth walked in. He was handsome and unrestrained, exuding an aura of confidence that made evident him being a peerless genius. His presence became more overbearing with every step.

”Dear heavens! Who is that youth of unparalleled manliness?” The female students were of course top tier beauties, wearing long chi-paos that revealed ample part of their generous bosom and let them show their long jade like legs from the side slit.

Soon blood rushed to the face and the most private parts of the young and pure maidens, making them bloom like red roses.

The handsome youth was of course Lith, our protagonist. His black, silky hair moved with each stride, his smile was filled with nothing but unrestrained power. He knew that in that small world he was peerless beyond reason.

Dazzled by his appearance, the professors decided to test his wits, so see if such overbearing talent really belonged to a true genius.

”What do you think about the Dao of magic, young master?” Said an old man whose beard almost reached the floor.

”Such an easy question.” Lithʼs boundless self-confidence filled the whole room with admired gasps. He was the kind of man that every woman wanted, and every man wanted to be.

”He who strikes first, strikes twice. Buy low, sell high.” His reply made the male audience turn green with envy.

”So young yet so wise and knowledgeable about Taoism and philosophy! He truly understands the Dao! Heavens donʼt have eyes! Why him? He is just commoner trash! Why it couldnʼt be me?

I come from the [insert pompous name here] family. We have hundreds of years of artifacts and legacies, yet I am nothing compared to him!” Everyone thought.

The female audience, instead, had already fallen head over heels for him. All that they could think about was how to capture his manly heart and how many children of him they wanted to bear in their wombs.

But Lith hadnʼt finished yet.

”The cat is on the table. Itʼs a quarter from nine.”

Those simple words revealed a profound and unfathomable wisdom. Soon the professors realized that it would take them years to understand the truth about the Dao that was hidden behind those words.

At the same time, the female audience raised the baby count by one, some even by three. They were healthy young ladies, after all.

Soon the evil envious prince from the powerful Envy family couldnʼt take it anymore.

”You are courting death!” He bellowed.

He moved with unbelievable speed, arriving in front of Lith in the blink of an eye. He was the most nondescript character one could imagine. The only defining trait he had was a T-shirt saying: ”Hi, Iʼm the bad guy.”

”You trash, how dare you taint this sacred halls with your presence? Kowtow to me nine times and call me your grandpa, and I promise I will not kill you.”

The professors gasped. They were all archmages, hundreds of years old. But what was their pride, the school honour, not to mention nonsense like the rules of the kingdom in front of that youth?

He was Prince Bad Guy from the Envy family, whose power they didnʼt dare to offend. So, like the archmages they were, they squealed some pathetic excuse and hid in the background.

”Poor Lith, he is destined to die. No one can offend the Envy family and live to tell the tale.” They thought as one.

Lith was unaffected by both his words and t-shirt.

”You are just a side character, scram!” With a wave of his hand, Lith sent Bad Guy crashing into the wall, keeping him alive for no reason other than to gloat at his misfortune.

Bad Guy coughed a mouthful of blood, his bones were crushed, his internal organs bleeding, his dantian almost crippled, but his ego was stronger than ever.

”Uncle! Please save me! This b*stard dared to hit me! So despicable! Why did you refuse to die when I politely asked you to?”