I Refuse to Become Scumbag in Tokyo

Chapter 206: I donʼt want to only receive something from you, I want to be someone who can do things for you

Shishio looked at Shiina, who was crying. He could only feel his heart was very heavy, wondering how many times he would make a girl cry. He had to admit that love was a very troublesome feeling, but his feeling toward Shiina was quite special. Even though he knew it wasnʼt love, he really cared for her. Even though he knew that it was bad, he had some expectations that she could change him and make him forget about his past, but he felt that he was forcing his feelings over her, but it was different now since two girls had replaced her place now.

Shishio somehow just couldnʼt look straight at Shiina when he thought about what he had done in the past few days.

Neither of them might be dating each other, but their relationship was very close to each other. Still, Shishio didnʼt want to be full of himself and took it for granted that she had a feeling toward him, and somehow, if possible, he just wanted her to slap at him and shout that he was a liar, but he knew that she wouldnʼt do that.

Shishio forced himself to look at Shiina and tried to act as calmly as possible. It was so uncomfortable for him, but he knew that it was even more uncomfortable for Shiina, so he needed to force himself to face their feelings without running away.

Shishio took a deep breath, tried to calm himself, looked at Shiina, and asked, ”Youʼre not going to slap me?”

”Why?” Shiina looked at Shishio with a confused expression.

Shishio looked at Shiina for a moment and asked, ”Do you want to talk?”

Shiina looked at Shishio for a moment and nodded. ”Um.” Then without hesitation, she entered, even though she felt her inside was very stuffy and it made her hard to breathe, the thought that she might lose him was several times worse than something that she felt right now, so without hesitation, she entered his room to start their conversation.

Two girls entered his room one after another in just a night, and Shishio somehow really wanted to sleep, but he knew that he couldnʼt since he needed to solve this matter in front of him first.

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Shishio and Shiina sat while facing each other, but no words came out from their mouths.

Shishio wasnʼt sure what to say to Shiina. Should he say sorry? He couldnʼt say that since that meant he regretted what he was doing. If he did that, he would let down the feelings of both Saki and Nana, who had trusted him, but at the same time, he also knew that even though he didnʼt say it directly to his mouth, and even though Shiina might not understand her feeling toward him, it was very clear what she felt.

In truth, everything was so simple, he had rejected Shiinaʼs feelings, and that was all, nothing else, nothing more, but with everything that had happened, could something be so simple?

”You know... itʼs a time like this that I wish I could come up with an appropriate response. I hate myself for not being able to reply properly,” Shishio said. He looked at Shiina, who was looking at him, and unlike her usual daze expression, she was looking at him straight without dodging, waiting for the answer to her question. He knew that he also needed to do the same thing. He faced Shiina, looking at her straight without looking away, and said, ”Mashiro, I know that Iʼve disappointed you, but Iʼve dated someone now.” He might say to Misaki that it was alright to run away, but he didnʼt want to run away, he was a man, and he needed to face his problems properly.

Shiinaʼs lips trembled, and she wanted to say something, but no words came out for a while, and tears kept dripping from her eyes. She remembered his words that told her that he needed to say goodbye to someone, but suddenly out of nowhere, he had dated someone. She knew that even though he didnʼt have an obligation to answer her feelings, she felt betrayed, but she held her heart, then after a moment, she asked, ”What am I to you, Shishio?”

Shishio looked at Shiina and said, ”You know, out of all the girls that I know, you might be the only one that I can be true with. You know my insecurity that Iʼve never told anyone, and you have even told me that youʼd help me, so Iʼm sorry, Mashiro. Even though youʼve never said anything to me, and even though we have never been clear about what our relationship is, you must be disappointed to know that I have dated someone right now.”

Shiina looked at Shishio, who faced herself, and asked, ”Do you like Saki?”